Are You Laughing at Me or With Me?

As my nine days at Wings of Hope comes to an end, I think about how absolutely rewarding this trip has been.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Some of the ridiculous moments:

• Boys will be boys.  Though they can not feed themselves, two of the boys with cerebral palsy mustered enough control to use their respective wheelchairs as bumper cars and push one another out of position to change the tv station.  I knew I should stop the fight, but I kind of wanted to see what would happen.
• That wasn't rain.  I was standing in the alley behind the house when I felt a drop of wetness hit my head.  I looked up and realized I was standing underneath the boys' balcony.  One of the boys was looking down at me with a huge drip of drool hanging out of his mouth.  (Awwww...mmaaannnn!!!)
• No thanks, we are NOT that hungry.  Since the older children were often still hungry after their light dinner, I decided to share my chocolate protein bars with them one evening.  They were all very excited at the "bonbons."  After one bite of a Lunabar, Sadraque returned his portion back to me.
• Again, no thanks, we are NOT that hungry.  Not knowing what to expect, one of the volunteers, Michael, bought Spam and Tang at the grocery store.  I asked him if he consumed these products back at home.  He said, "No." (?!?!)  I am going to bet that there will still be Spam and Tang in the kitchen cabinet when I decide to return to Wings of Hope next.  There's something to be said about food products that have a longer shelf-life than you.  

• The Ramp of Death.  Each day of classes, we would help take the children with wheelchairs down to the first level.  Since the house isn't designed to be wheelchair accessible, the wooden planks on top of the stairs were relatively steep.  One of the children, David, would make a special request for me to take him downstairs because he thought the look of fear in my eyes as I wheeled him downstairs backward (using my shins as a brake) absolutely hilarious.  *Note the scuff marks on the wall.*
• Big wheels, not just for kids.  We brought out the big wheels and bikes with training wheels for the children to ride around on the patio one day.  By children, I mean us volunteers.  By us volunteers, I really mean me.  I hadn't seen a big wheel in years.  And man oh man...if I didn't do some knee cartilage damage while banging myself up against that steering well.  It was a training exercise in my pursuit to be reigning queen of that patio.

Non-traditional Communication

Vivian, a Haitian teenage girl, sees me and tells me to wait where I am.  She brings a photo album to show me pictures of the boy that she has a crush on.  I give her my approval and we giggle together. She goes on to tell me about how scary the earthquake was as well.  The floor shook.  People were crying.  Some people were hurt, some died.

Not your everyday conversation when you realize that Vivian is deaf and I don't know sign language.

In the US, we are constantly talking about the importance of communication.  There are tons of articles on how to communicate with your boss, your client, your best friend, your significant other, etc.  "He's not a mind-reader.  You have to be specific."  We have to think about what we are saying and whether or not we conveyed it clearly to the other person.

I learned here how easy it is to communicate with others even when you don't speak the same language (or don't speak at all).  It is so amazing.  While in Haiti, I speak Kreyol, French, use French-sounding words (remember when you did this "confidently" in high school to trip your teacher up), and English.  There are also a lot of hand gestures involved.  And you know what?!!  The children understand me.  And since a lot of the children are not able to speak and those who can speak only speak Kreyol, I have learned to pay intimate attention to their gestures and body language to understand them.  It works!

I understand when Teddy needs help putting on his headphones so that he can listen to the radio.  I understand when Fritz wants me to sit him upright to feed him, and doesn't want me to forget to put a bib on him so that there is not a big mess.  I can gently attend to a huge insect bite that has become infected on David's arm because he is afraid that if I touch, it may hurt.  I can fetch a new shirt for Sam because he's uncomfortable with how wet the current one he is wearing has gotten from the dribbled juice.  All of these named children have cerebral palsy and none of them verbally told me what they needed in a traditional sense.  I just learned to pay attention and ask them questions to confirm that I understood them correctly. 

I scold the children in English when they aren't following directions.  They get it.

Jozye took a page full of stickers out of an activity book, even though he was specifically told not to.  I asked for them back -- in both French and English.  He hid them behind his back with a huge grin on his face as if to say, "I have no idea what you are talking about."  In English, I threatened not to go horseback-riding with him the following day or talk to him.  He gave them back so I would finish coloring with him.

I also yelled at some of the neighborhood kids today.  They were peeking over the gate -- I'm not sure if they were curious about me (the foreigner) or wanted to spy on the kids.  Either way, when one of the girls began to mimick the noises of one of my highly autistic children, I told her firmly to go away in English.  She understood and ran off.

It's not that complicated.  

What Matters

I stood with the kids for their morning sermon.  Seeking affection, Josephine had grabbed my right hand as I was passing her.  As I settled into the hallway, with one child at one hand, another little hand grabbed for my other.  Fritz, who has cerebral palsy and cannot even feed himself, focused enough to reach out and hold my hand.  I was touched!

I looked across the hallway and smiled at Lazar.  He said something to me.  Not knowing if it was Kreyol or nonsense, I asked him to repeat himself.  I still couldn't understand him when he did.  "Pas comprend," I responded.  He said it again.  I shrugged and apologized for not understanding.  I began to look away when he shouted it out clear as day.

"I love you."

My eyes welled.  My heart filled.  Don't cry -- I told myself.

Before I had come, I had a lot of anxiety and was questioning myself on whether I could add any value during my short stay at Wings.  I was trekking to a country under distress that I was not familiar with.  I didn't have a background in physical therapy and did not have much experience working with children with disabilities.  I didn't know Kreyol and only had some basic French....

But this was a confirmation of my purpose to be here.  This was not a home where the ratio was two parents to a child.  Though these kids have a wonderful support system, they are still children who want attention and affection.  Well, lucky for them, I am great at giving hugs and kisses!  I can provide this!  And you know what?!!  These little guys are fantastic about returning the favor too!

It's love -- this shameless, uncomplicated, simple feeling.  No strings attached.  Just a reminder to one another that YOU matter.

The Children of Wings of Hope

As soon as I entered the gate of Wings of Hope, I was overwhelmed by the greeting of kids who came up to immediately hug me and a brown lab named Zel. 

Wings of Hope is a home for 38 boys and girls with disabilities high in the hills above Port-au-Prince.  In such a poor country, families do not have the means to support a child with special needs.  And in some cases, due to superstition, the disabilities that these children have are interpreted to be bad omens or even the child being possessed by a bad spirit.  While some of these kids were brought to the home by their parents who couldn't take care of them properly, most of these children were outright abandoned somewhere. 

It's unbelievable because these are the most incredible children.  Many of them have cerebral palsy, autism, mental retardation, vision problems, or other deformities.  However, despite their disabilities, they are incredibly sweet, loving, and thoughtful.  

The Wings of Hope house was deemed unsafe after the January 2010 earthquake.  As a result, it has been demolished.  They are starting from scratch so that the new house will be handicap-accessible and have a stronger foundation.  In the meantime, everyone has moved to two adjoining rental properties.  The children are crowded in one house; the adults are in another.  There is no running water and only intermittent electricity; in order to flush, you simply pour a pitcher of water down the toilet.  However, the children are safe, get three meals a day, and their classes/programs have now resumed.

The children are impressive.  Those who are "capable" help to feed those who are less capable.  And those who are less capable keep an eye on the room to make sure that everyone is fed. There is an allowance system which encourages the children to pitch in with chores around the house.  As a result, I have observed the children with a strong sense of pride when they are able to purchase something with the money they have earned.  They are not selfish and share things with one another.  In every sense of the word, they are a family.

Some of the boys who grew up in St. Joseph's Home (a sister property in Port-au-Prince that is a home for former boy-slaves) have gone on to be caretakers at Wings of Hope.  As a result, they understand the emotional support that is needed to help "lift up" the spirit of a child who has otherwise been abandoned by society.  The children and young adults that I have met from both of these programs have been so great -- it goes to show what a supportive environment they are growing up within.

A typical day for me as a volunteer:

6:00-6:30am       Wake up

6:30-8:00am       Get ready, study Kreyol, journal, drink coffee, eat breakfast.  (On an energetic morning, I may go to the kitchen to assist with the preparations or dance with the children who are gathered around.)

8:00-8:30am       Feed the children breakfast

8:30-9:30am       Participate in the morning sermon or hang out in the girls/babies room holding the little ones

9:30-12:30pm      Class (computers, art, social skills) or laundry

12:30-1:30pm      Feed the children lunch, followed by juice time

1:30-5:00pm        Play with the kids, go to the market, take a bucket bath, do personal laundry

5:00-5:30pm        Feed the children dinner

5:30-7:30pm        Watch a movie with the kids, eat dinner, play cards

8:30-9:00pm        Go to bed

Wings of Hope survives mostly through contributions made, predominantly coming from American donors.  It takes an average of $6000 to support one child per year (food, shelter, medicine, caretakers and nurses, teachers, physical therapists, security, etc.).  If you would like to make a donation, please visit www.heartswithhaiti.org. 

Little facts about some of the kids:

• Josephine has a sweet smile and a way of finding her way into your heart on first impression.  She speaks english VERY well and loves to sit in your lap.
• Lazar understands and speaks English, but doesn't want the volunteers to know immediately so that he can listen in on conversations.
• Sam is ticklish and will giggle if you sing the Cookie Monster song ("C is for Cookie....").
• Teddy will teach you about patience.  If you pay attention to his gestures, you will be able to figure out what he needs help with.  Just don't get frustrated with yourself because he certainly won't.
• Despite the pink footsie pjs, Aluckson "Booboo" is ALL BOY.  Though he doesn't see well, he will find the electric socket in the room to play with (just like any other 3 year boy).  When feeding him, he will bite hard on the spoon.  It's his little way of feeding himself.  So while you may not be willing to let him spoon-feed himself because of the potential mess, after you've put the spoon in his mouth, just let it go.  When he is ready, he will hand the spoon back to you.
• Though he has a wheelchair, David likes to hop around the floor to get to where he needs to next.  I've seen him get run over by someone passing through the hallway, but his reaction is to burst out in laughter.  He laughs -- A LOT. 
• Jozye is the tech whiz.  He sets up the projector every night for the kids' movie.  Though he doesn't speak, he is a master imitator and can imitate the cries and sounds of the other children very well.
• Pierre and Erique will mimick one another.  They are two peas in a pod.  It is funny to be in the middle of them while they are doing this.
• Steve and Frank Ely love to dance -- morning, noon, and night.  In addition, they will take fresh cloves of garlic from the kitchen to eat -- so beware of close talking!  ;)